Miscarriage, It's Your Fault

Is it? Why does a miscarriage happen? What does it mean? Is it your fault?
I had coffee with a friend the other day who was telling me about her doctor who told her she had a miscarriage because of her lifestyle.
I was so angry when I heard this and it made my heart break knowing she was hurting. Because she didn’t know she was pregnant she continued with the pill, this along with her dietary choices and her heavy lifting job were to blame, according to this doctor.
I'm sure many of you have had these thoughts. Why me? What did I do? Was it my fault?

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How dare someone put guilt on another human being especially a female, we all know there is so much more guilt and blame going on in our own heads, we don’t need someone else adding to that. Especially a health professional who is there to guide and be the science behind what happens to us. 

Facts
The facts are miscarriages happen and they can be completely devastating, and they are very common! 
A miscarriage is a loss of your baby before 20 weeks of pregnancy. Up to 1 in 4 confirmed pregnancies end in a miscarriage before 20 weeks and many other women miscarry without even knowing they are pregnant.

Common signs of a miscarriage:

• Abdominal cramping like period pain
• Vaginal bleeding.

Why do they happen?
You might be blaming yourself, thinking if only I didn’t do that etc but sometimes there is no answer. Some things in life happen just because and that can be really hard to comprehend as you’re looking for answers and sometimes it can be an abnormal development of the baby which you have no control over. 

Occasionally miscarriages are caused by: 

• Hormonal abnormalities
• Immune system and blood clothing disorders
• Medical conditions like thyroid or diabetes
• Severe infections causing high fevers (not common cold)
• Physical issues with your womb or cervix

There is no evidence that having sex, working, housework, exercising or stress can cause a miscarriage!
My personal opinion over the years of understanding the human body is that our body isn’t ready to be pregnant. It’s like a cleansing inside to allow the next one to stick. 

Most women who have suffered a miscarriage go on to have a healthy full term pregnancy. However, the chance of you miscarrying again stays at 1 in 5 pregnancies. A lot of women don't talk about it, even though it's so common. What if we started talking about it? and started comforting each other and not blaming?

So next time you hear of someone who has had a miscarriage, give them a hug and comfort them, don’t blame. Don’t be afraid to speak up and help women know they are not alone as it's happened to many of us.

For more support please go to www.sands.org.au